The Paper Chick

This time last year I was sitting in a hospital room knowing that tomorrow I would have a c-section. I was feeling excitement and a lot of fear. Would she be okay? Could I do this?
Here is a little remembering:
Sunday night Brian arrived in Louisville after driving from Boston with Justin & all of our stuff (the day following HBS graduation).
Monday morning we closed on our house and then spent the entire day negotiating on his car. We arrived at our house at 4pm and started to move in. I was 37 weeks pregnant so I plopped down in Kendall's room with Lorie and assembled her crib and changing table. It was my one true night of nesting.
Tuesday morning I had an ultrasound scheduled. Kendall was breech and they wanted to see if they could maneuver her around. Brian wanted to come but he had to be home for our appliance delivery. Lorie wanted to come too but she was teaching that day. During the ultrasound the technician kept saying how little fluid was in there. The doctor came in and kept asking me, are you sure your water didn't break?? They wanted me to go home and pack and go to the hospital. I cried the whole way home, I called Brian hysterical, I called my mom hysterical, and I left multiple messages for Lorie. Brian was in the driveway waiting for me when I got home, I just hugged him and cried (and he said "did you know you just pulled into the neighbor's grass?"). Lorie saw that I had called a billion times and knew something was wrong, she met us at the hospital. I hadn't sent in my pre-admission forms, I hadn't called a pediatrician yet, I hadn't taken the hospital tour yet, it wasn't time. I spent the night getting "hydrated" the next morning I had another ultrasound with the same results and they scheduled my c-section. Kendall was born at 4:06 the next day. Five pounds 13 ounces and 19" of pure joy. My heart that loved so much grew immeasurably more that day.

I've slept in this house only one night more then she has. Sometimes I have to creep into her room at night to make sure it isn't all a dream, sometimes I want to pick her up and cuddle her because my arms feel empty without her. All the time I love her, all the time I love my husband because he loves her and works so that I can stay home with her. My life will never be the same, thank you God.