Saturday, December 03, 2005

Love that hasn't Faded

Today is the anniversary of my dad's death. I stayed busy today so I didn't really think of it but tonight as I was nursing Kendall before putting her to bed thoughts of him kept going through my mind. I was thirteen when he died and I realized tonight that when I think of him it's almost like photographs in my mind and I can't remember many "videos". I sometimes wonder what he would think of me as an adult. How would he and Brian like one another, would he sing "Hound Dog in the Window" to Kendall, would he be proud of the adult that I have become? I think that when you are young your parents are just these adult figures in your life and you don't really know them. I hate that I didn't get to know him from an adult standpoint. I do know that he was very hardworking, strong, and he was proud. I remember that he loved steak, he loved big glasses of ice water, that his feet were really smelly (maybe Kendall takes after him a little), that he told the same joke every time we passed a round building and the one memory that always makes me smile is that anytime that "Faded Love" or "The Tennessee Waltz" was playing he would pull my mom out to dance.

So the next time you see a round building think of this...."Did you know someone died in that building? He ran himself to death trying to find a corner to pee in. ha, ha, ha" And he ALWAYS laughed at his own jokes.


  1. You are right, he was hardworking. He believed if you were going to do something ... do it right. He always told us he didn't care how much we were making, if we were working for someone we needed to be working the whole time. He didn't want to see us sitting around.
    He also was VERY mathematically inclined. He always knew how to do our math homework, even if it wasn't the way the teacher taught us.
    Daddy loved his kids and grandkids very much. He didn't really tell us "I love you" much, but I found out later, he talked about all of us all the time. At his funeral, people told me all the stories he had told them about us.
    I also realize how much he loved Mom. I look back at things and realize she made him his happiest. He wasn't comfortable with outward signs of affection, but she would grab his hand or give him a kiss and he would grin so big.
    Ashley, you were his baby and he loved you so much. You helped keep him young.
    I love you.

  2. i love to read your blog, Paper Chick! Such good thoughts and insights. I MUST say that is my favoritest pic of Kendall yet.

  3. I know this is several months later, but I was reading through some of your posts and came across this one.

    Do you know I think of your dad on occasions? I'm not sure why but everytime I do it reminds me to truly take a moment and appreciate my family.

    I can't imagine how he could not be proud of you. It seems (the little insight I get via your blog) that you have really built a wonderful life with a beautiful family. I'm so impressed myself!

    Take care.